Take a Look Around

I’ve been toying with some thoughts
Pulling and tugging on that rat's nest
attempting to tease out coherence and clarity in the midst of disfunction.

How you can get what you want, and still be unhappy.
Achieve an intended outcome and realize it is not
why I’m so committed, and others aren’t
why it's so hard to pivot on hurt and the unexpected
how come unforeseen change is so painful
how to heal and not harden
how to forgive

when you toil endlessly to get something you think you want, and finally arrive to realize that this isn't “it”. And that what you thought and dreamt and worked tirelessly towards (devotion), it isn't. It doesn't produce the feelings you thought it would.

The thought of when do I slow down ~I should start tapering back a bit. When is, how is, what is: enough.

Enough for me, I have.
Enough for others. Is to be determined.

And other thoughts like:
when your family betrays. Maybe that is enough. End of the Road.

I’ve been thinking of abandoning because of distrust.
How do you build trust out of defense, how do you grow a tree out of rot?

Questions.